Actually, I noticed that a few new people had added me as a friend lately, so for your benefit, a quick recap:
I have a nemesis, an honest to crap nemesis, he's the software development team leader in my office. Somewhere along the lines he was allowed to get a bit too much power and it went to his head, since that day he's been making my life pretty hellish (though he IS on his second strike - written and verbal warnings have been issued in no small part because of one of my more psychotic episodes I hear) doing stuff like asking for lengthy update emails then calling me to ask for a summary because he can't be bothered reading it, having me in at weekends, sabotaging my projects, generally wasting days of my time at a go and so on.
Mercifully he's being packed off to chicago for a year (possibly, he might end up back here pretty quickly if the customers decide not to take his shit) Either way though he's putting in an extra special effort from the look of it this week.
We have a special rep/analyst over from america at the moment, the poor bastard had an eight hour flight, arrived in our office and launched into the meetings at eleven. We were supposed to meet the guy at three in the afternoon after the technical overview thing. Naturally the frenchman tried to stir things up by announcing that the meeting MIGHT be at noon...
no wait... yes it will... no, no it won't... actually... yes it will... no.. no wait till three... wait!... no...
So three O clock rolls around, we have all our paperwork and stats ready and we settle down for what is promised to actually be a productive interesting meeting about the plan for testing for the next while - as interesting as MY professional life gets anyway.
So I arrive in, laptop under one arm, mug of tea in hand, paperwork under my other arm and I sit down, only to be moved moments later because the frenchman decided that he wanted to sit beside the rep - silly me for assuming that the guy who was supposedly running the stuff we were having the meeting about would need to be beside the guy getting it explained to him.
So I sit down a few (uncomfortable) chairs over and settle in.
Forty minutes of unrelated, highly technical, incredibly low level WAFFLE later the rep (having been interrupted and talked over several times by the frenchman) puts forward the idea that since several of us (myself included) had no idea what the hell was being said, maybe he could meet us later.
A thoughtful and rational idea I hear you say?
Well not in the mind of the frenchman, he comes out with some statment about wanting us to be educated but it's too late, my boss tells me I should leave and get some work done (partly because nothing being said had anything to do with me and partly because she saw my notes
"Get me out of here"
"I am going to stab him in the neck with a pen"
"I hate that f**king retarded f**king brain donor"
With a cry of "THANK CHRIST" your hero headed for the door. He actually kept the other guy from testing back (possibly knowing better than to antagonise the guy known to be slightly unstable from months of stress)
I should point out that the frenchman had interrupted the very important visitor several times by that stage.
I head upstairs and get productive.
An hour and twenty minutes my boss comes up, congratulates me on getting out of it and tells me it's time for our bit of the presentation. I wandered back down to the meeting room and settled in again. She also informed me on the way down that the frenchman had spent at least an hour tapping the rep's laptop screen with the pointy bit of a pen to point out areas of disussion.
The frenchman is still waffling on, having spent the past hour and a bit going into excruciating detail about every last parameter and setting in the software before coming to a conclusion.
The conclusion? to set everything back to the original settings and make adjustments from there - the very thing suggested in the first two minutes of the meeting (not to mention several times over the past few weeks)
Then we get to our bit, finally.
The frenchman declares that he has another meeting to go to, gets up and walks out, half an hour before the end of a meeting he called, a meeting he asked us to prepare reams of printouts for.
I'm guessing the room went silent because of the expression on my face, certainly everyone was watching my for my reaction, given that everyone present knew my feelings for the frenchman and it probably didn't help that I bit through my pen.
So as part of my new therapy, he's getting a bollocking tomorrow.