Last week I bought a bike. I have not been in a bike since my college days, some ten years ago when I cycled to a party, got drunk and forgot where I left it and my first few forays back onto two wheels were not all that more stable than my final attempt a decade ago. I bought the actual bike in Smyths toy store near work for a hundred and thirty nine euro. The price on the bike was a hundred and twenty nine euro but it appears that there was a ten euro charge to get it "assembled" which is shop slang for "going out and getting one we prepared earlier from the store room". Being irish and used to such shennanigans (to the point where I think most irish people now have a 10% bullshit tolerance value built into all transactions) I got it and immediately headed over to cycleways to get the lock and helmet because even though I could reconcile myself with buying a bike in a toy store I couldn't do the same for the helmet and lock because *that* would be dangerous.
Cycleways, for those of you not in the know, sell bikes I can only assume are made by ferrari based on the prices they charge, but they're surprisingly reasonable about accessories and I was happy enough to shell out a bit extra for something relatively good since I'm a dad now and responsible dads don't leave themselves open to smearing their brains on the pavement.
Anyway, I am trying to be a responsible cyclist and trying not to break Wombat's Law (that no matter the hour of day or night, there will always be someone on a bike ready to sail through a red light and generally act like the fucking rules don't apply because you can retaliate by being a sanctimonious cunt about carbon footprints when the truth is you can't afford a god damned car) but I am being thwarted by motorists who have already forced me to break lights in order to avoid ending up under their wheels several times. Still, my conscience is clear once its self preservation. Now I just have to work on getting rid of my tendency to believe that being in the right grants me crumple zones and an airbag.