You are not kidding anyone, your complete inability to do your job has been noted at all levels of the company by anyone who has to deal with you. Some indicators which you may wish to consider masking in future are as follows:
Removing crucial diagrams from documentation because you thought they didn't look very good there.
Taking two weeks to resize a gif file.
Arguing every single point made to you ONLY makes you look knowledgable if your argument consists of more than "I dunnow, it just seems wrong". Gut instinct has it's place, but that place is in fucking cop movies. If you were given 24 hours to solve the case you'd ask if you could spread those 24 hours over the next three months.
I am not the world's finest timekeeper but I at least attempt to be at my desk by nine AM, ten past is the worst I manage but two years of working hard for the company can earn you some leeway. Two years of fucking things up only means it's noticed all the more then you arrive in at half past, disappear for half an hour, come back wearing different clothes and then sit down to breakfast.
Do not assume some sort of divine sisterhood with senior management simply because they are mainly women, they know everything because your boss knows everything and he tells them. DO not assume he has once taken the fall for anything more than not screaming at you and giving you the bitch slap you so heartily deserve.
No need to reply, your vacant gaze speaks volumes.