The Bunny Bacchus

I'm kind of intrigued as to why people would want synthetic skin of the first type apart from the perceived shock value (people going for the shock value think it's shock value, everyone else of course realises that shock value is actually wanker value).

Synthetic skin of the second type, however, seems a little more seductive. Imagine you were walking down the road and accidentally stumbled into a blazing building, thereby suffering extensive burns to your face and torso. On arrival in hospital you could simply inform the surgeon "It's ok, just slap my handbag on the nasty bits...don't forget to take out my mobile phone and filofax first though...ho ho!!".

This could be both practical and convenient, saving huge amounts of money for the health service, alleviating the necessity to pull chunks of spare flesh off your bum and giving you a useful extra zip-up pocket in which to keep loose change.

I think I'll order one right away.