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Wed, Dec. 7th, 2005, 03:20 pm
Killing the "funny" so you don't have to.

This week's bugbear is stupid jokes.

James Cameron is planning a sequel to Titanic, everyone is being hilarious and saying "But it sank! HAHAHA!! whats it going to be about? From the top of the ocean to the bottom!!? HAHA!"

Fuck you [1]. There were enough people on that bloody ship to fuel a hundred stories. Given time I'm sure Cameron could do a story about everyone assuming Celene Dion's voice could handle it. You may only make this joke if you also make a comment about every single WW2 movie from now until the day you die that says "But the germans lost! whats it going to be about? The mopping up of the final bits of german resistance who remained loyal after Hitler'2 [2] death?!?"

Secondly
A favourite of hack comedians the world over. "You hear about people being disgruntled, but you never hear about anyone being gruntled do you? I mean how can you be disgruntled if you were never gruntled to begin with?"

In order to end this joke once and for all, I spent an ENTIRE DAY being watching TV and gruntled last thursday. It is a sensation like knowing you've forgotten something and it sort of bothers you but you honestly don't care enough to get up and check that you switched the cooker off. Thats gruntled, I was gruntled, you've now heard of someone being gruntled. Never make that joke again [3].

[1] Do not take this as a Mr_Wombat endorsement of Titanic, just a criticism of anyone making this joke.
[2] I invoke godwin's law on myself.
[3] Or I swear to God, I will monkeystomp you <- that is DISgruntled by the way.

Wed, Dec. 7th, 2005 04:01 pm (UTC)
bastun_ie

What about discombobulated, eh, eh?

Wed, Dec. 7th, 2005 04:03 pm (UTC)
mr_wombat

I am almost constantly cool, calm and combobulated.

Wed, Dec. 7th, 2005 04:41 pm (UTC)
leftoftheedge

I hope that's not contagious...

Good luck with the under-the-knife business, by the way!