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Wed, Nov. 30th, 2005, 01:07 pm
Still not dead

I'm just back from an illuminating two hours in the hospital outpatients department. My recovery isn't going as well as they'd hoped so my course of antibiotics has been extended for another fortnight after the current ten day one ends. I'm still back in work on monday but I'm going to be off again in a fortnight for an operation and then I'll be off for another few weeks (meaning I spend christmas in recovery, but at least I'll only be in hospital overnight).
They're going to knock me out, cut me open near the eye, open the tear duct, drill a hole through the tear sack and the bone beneath and put in a pipe to essentially bypass the canal that brings the tears from the sack - its a bit like a plumber dealing with a blocked pipe by drilling a hole in the water tank and trailing a hose from the hole to the back garden.

I asked about an eyepatch, they said no.

Wed, Nov. 30th, 2005 01:51 pm (UTC)

No eyepatch huh? bummer... what about a parrot and a pegleg then?

Seriously though, hope everything goes ok

Thu, Dec. 1st, 2005 02:16 pm (UTC)

No parrot, no pegleg, no hook, no eye patch, no nothing. I'm having trouble seeing a silver lining to this one unless I go blind and become some sort of extra sensory ninja.

Thu, Dec. 1st, 2005 02:21 pm (UTC)

That might involve us dousing you in radioactive waste....

I do think it'd be an interesting conversation at the Eye & Ear hospital:

" No patch huh? "
" No sorry sir, health cuts, we can't afford to give you a patch..."
" Could you amputate my hand so and attach a hook then? Don't worry about sterilising the stump, I'll just cauterize it myself in a bucket of burning tar... Yeeeaargh, Matey!! "

Wed, Nov. 30th, 2005 01:59 pm (UTC)

The denial of an eyepatch is outrageous and clearly points to the decline of investment in modern healthcare!

(But they probably will actually a plastic, sorta dome-shaped one to wear for a day or two - they gave me one, anyway, when I had an eye operation. Thing is, it's white. So bring a big thick black marker in with you...)

Thu, Dec. 1st, 2005 02:17 pm (UTC)

Nah, the incision will be about 3/4 of an inch from the eye - most eye patches would just have the edge resting painfully on the wound. So I'll have to go for a full on phantom of the opera mask.

Wed, Nov. 30th, 2005 02:33 pm (UTC)

Ouch. None of that sounds fun in the slightest. Especially the bit with the eyepatch. Bring your own, I say! Hope it all goes well and you'll be pain and boil free by Christmas!

Thu, Dec. 1st, 2005 02:18 pm (UTC)

Should all be done by christmas, I'll probably still be sore by then but otherwise recovered. Plus I'll have about three weeks off work.

Wed, Nov. 30th, 2005 03:31 pm (UTC)

Does that mean the tears come out wherever the pipe ends? Can you request an exit point? Maybe they'll let you get set up to cry out of your belly button.

Thu, Dec. 1st, 2005 02:19 pm (UTC)

Nope, no requests, not even a stylish colour for the pipe. I might see if they can give me a cooler right eye to make up for it all while they're there though - maybe a robot one.

Wed, Nov. 30th, 2005 04:02 pm (UTC)

Sounds damn scary. I hope everything turns out well. Keep us informed!

Wed, Nov. 30th, 2005 04:05 pm (UTC)


Wed, Nov. 30th, 2005 05:30 pm (UTC)

Maybe it's those 70's shades that's messing up your peepers?


Thu, Dec. 1st, 2005 02:19 pm (UTC)

holy god...

Thu, Dec. 1st, 2005 03:13 am (UTC)

Sorry to hear about the eye-patch. I know you had your heart set on it. (Aside from swarthiness, it boosts your swashbuckliness by about 12.5%.)
Also, much with the fast healing. Gooey, leaky eyes sound like no fun when you spend as much time in front of a computer as you seem to. :-p
Also, this post far out-grossed the last one. Cudos.

Thu, Dec. 1st, 2005 11:06 am (UTC)

Double kudo! :>

Thu, Dec. 1st, 2005 02:20 pm (UTC)

yeah, between the job and the hobbies I do spend a lot of time in front of a PC, though I've had to decrease it lately as a result of all this. Its a pain in the ass though, its hard to get through a presentation or a meeting when you've got the sneaking suspicion that something organic and disgusting is spooging around you.