The Bunny Bacchus (mr_wombat) wrote,
The Bunny Bacchus
mr_wombat

Its only once a year...

Mercifully I only really have to deal with my bank about once a year. Generally its for landlord references or asking them if they could kindly reduce my overdraft limit from the ridiculous amount they've decided I could afford to pay back. The bank reference/statement thing is a lot of fun though, it goes a something like this:


Call #1 to their 24/7 phone service (ir isn't really 24/7 naturally)
Me: Hello, I would like some kind of reference thing for my landlord, just to say I have money and an irish bank account.
Them: No problem, you'll have it tomorrow or the day after.

Call #2 - Tomorrow or the day after.
Me: Hi, I was wondering if the reference thing was sent out.
Them: Eh?
Me: Reference thing? for a landlord?
Them: We don't do that, you'll have to call your branch.
Me: Strange... thats not what I was told the first time.
Them: We don't do that, you'll have to call your branch.
Me: Yes, you mentioned that... well, have a nice day.
Them: We don't do that, you'll have to call your branch.
Me: Riiiight..

Call #3 - To my branch.
Me: Reference, landlord, bank account, money, brief description of financial things, want.
Them: We don't do that, you'll have to call the 24/7 service.
Me: .... what?
Them: We don't do that, you'll have to call the 24/7 service.
Me: But they said you'd be able to do it!
Them: We don't do that, you'll have to call the 24/7 service.
Me: God damn...

Call #4 - Back to the 24/7 thing
Me: *sigh* reference, landlord, whatever...
Them: We don't do that, you'll have to call your branch.
Me: Yes, I've been over this bit already, they say you'll do it, you say they'll do it and I sit here looking constipated with anger. Is there anything you can send me that'll just say I have a god damned account in this country?
Them: Well... theres a bank statement.. but it'll contain all your financial information, if you want just a single page thing declaring when you get paid and how much and what standing orders you have, you'll have to call your branch.
Me: Mother of God... I asked them for that and they said they didn't do it. Can you just send me the damned thing?
Them: We don't do that, you'll have to...
Me: Just send the statement...
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