January 10th, 2006


(no subject)

Aging "lothario" [1] Peter Stringfellow has been granted a license to open a strip club up on Parnell St. Residents and business owners are absolutely delighted as you can imagine. Still, if this city needs anything, its another strip club (no lap dancing will be allowed, no more than 500 people will be allowed inside and it can't open before 6pm) spread out over the city to ensure maximum coverage by the demographic of drunken grabby blokes staggering home at 4am. Of course, Stringfellows is a "legitimate" operation so the indentured imported dancers from eastern europe will have to apply for a job like everyone else. Honest to god, do people really believe he woke up one morning and said "I would like to create a chain of strip clubs that adhere to the highest moral standards of strip clubs!"?

Now I say all this as an appreciator of be breast myself. You can keep your "But whats so great about them? they're just mounds of fat?" questions to yourself, they're just great alright? I just don't find the idea of paying large amounts of cash to see them quite so appealing, especially if I'm going to be seeing them while sitting next to some corpulent loser who just spent money he doesn't have to get a woman he doesn't know to give him a stiffie he can't use just so he can look like the big shot he isn't. Hell, just spend the cash subscribing to some websites and send your credit card statement to your friends if you want to see breasts while letting people know how much cash you waste on this.

Incidentally, a bouncer at a stringfellows has been cleared of manslaughter. A drunken customer groped a dancer, got kicked out and took a swing at the bouncer - a former heavyweight boxer and freaking ninja - who responded by punching him so hard the customer's jaw was shattered and his skull was fractured when it bounced off the pavement. Apparantly this was responding in self defence, make of that what you will, I was outraged until I found out the drunken customer was a marketing manager and somehow it didn't bother me any more.

Irish adoption of american political practices continues apace. Our own politicians have embraced your current administration's policy of not bothering to explain why they're doing what they're doing (before this revolutionary idea they had to make do with lame excuses) fully so now its time to move on to using classified information to politically assassinate your critics. Our minister for laws - for it would be hard to describe him as minister for justice without laughing - recently decided that he could get back at a reporter who as having a go at him over some issues by revealing that the guy had traveled abroad using a fake passport. This is the same minister who pushed through the "get the darkies out of here" referendum and the one who feels he doesn't have to follow the same rules as the rest of us when it comes to planning permission.

Mary O'Rourke, for the benefit of people reading this in other countries, is a senator - a position in this country which seems to involve absolutely nothing except trying to worm your way onto TV and get a "real" job in politics. She recently got the fianna fail party nomination to run for election in her consitiuency and in a moment of inspired brilliance decided that she should congratulate her team and thank them for working so hard to ensure her nomination by saying that they had "worked like blacks" to achieve it. Naturally she feels there is nothing wrong with this. My outrage pool has dried up by now so I'll leave it there.

[1] I used to think that was latin for "Wrinkly old tosspot of a letch who would die alone if not for his gigantic bank account" and it turned out I wasn't too far off the mark.