September 30th, 2003


Well that was odd

Last night myself and metalrabbit were in bed after a particularly geeky evening of talking about D&D with gothwalk, sabayone and olethros and recording some MP3s to minidisk for her to listen to on the train to cork this morning.

So there we are, dozing off and I start feeling really disoriented and woozy and start having some fairly unpleasant visions, demons, devils and my personal all time shitting terror - animated toys (I have no idea where the hell this one came from but walking, moving toys invoke a certain primal fear reaction in me).

Now the odd bit was that I sort of woke up a few times, realised I was going back to sleep and knew that unless I did something about these visions it was going to be a pretty bad night (more disturbingly, some of the dream elements lingered for a few seconds after I woke up each time). Sort of a lucid dreaming exercise really, so the next time I drifted back to sleep I tried to shove back the nightmares, waking myself occasionally to regroup (this all made more sense at the time) but after a while I found myself losing and it was pretty fucking scary so I woke myself back up again and lay there for a second and contemplated waking metalrabbit but one of the less (or more depending on how you look at it) rational parts of my brain said "if you wake her and she says she had nightmares too then you'll never sleep".
I sort of woke her anyway a few minutes later when I drifted off and woke up with a loud gasp of fright, she turned to me and asked me if I was okay, I said I was okay, just feeling woozy.
Then, in a move made to guarantee a restless night she said "Oh, well I was having trouble sleeping too, I keep having these visions of a white figure moving around"

I'm assuming that all this was brought on by a combination of Babylon 5 and the book I'm reading at the moment "Winter Warriors" which involves a lot of demons and unpleasantness. It's wierd nonetheless.

(no subject)

Maybe I'm just letting recent revelations (like him telling the church to cover up clerical sex abuse cases) that's driving this particular emotion but:

Pope 'in a bad way' - close adviser

The pope is “in a bad way,” one of his closest advisers said in a German magazine interview today.
“We should pray for the pope. He is in a bad way,” German Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger told the weekly Bunte.
Polish-born John Paul, who was elected as pope in 1978, is 83 and suffers from Parkinson’s disease.
On Sunday, he spoke with great difficulty and stopped to catch his breath several times as he announced a list of 33 new cardinals from his studio window overlooking St. Peter’s Square.

That last one

Perhaps needlessly harsh


For a man who is supposedly god's representative on earth he has been party to some intolerable cruelties and well..

He was in a position to stop a great amount of pain yet under his nose decades of child abuse were perpetrated and while I'm not sure which is the greater evil: the evil that men do, or the evil of good men who allow evil to flourish I AM sure that both are hard, if not impossible to forgive when someone placed in a position of supreme trust abuses that trust.

So perhaps not needlessly harsh after all, but I shouldn't make light of the death of another nor take joy in it.