Technical genius that I am, I figured out what was screwing up Jedi Knight 2 last night (at around midnight unfortunately). It seems that somewhere along the line it decided that rather than use the lan it was going to use a dialup connection. Fixed that and got my ass soundly sliced from me - lightsaber style-e. It seems that calculated moves and swings are no match for Greg's patented "flail and spin in no particular direction like a bloody dervish" technique.
So, tonight I install some models I've downloaded and a mod to allow dual lightsabers (darth maul style), twin lightsabres (one in each hand) and switch on the whole dismemberment thing (which, gross as it sounds, is merely quite cool, no nastier then luke getting his hand chopped off anyway. Then it's a Darth Maul VS Yoda smackdown - or indeed slicedown as the case may be.
Many thanks to puritybrown for her response to yesterday's post. The ranger thing in particular was a good idea. I'm not even certain I'd be having an "outside london" technically and I'm still not certain where paladins fit in unless I make them distinctly less traditional. Still, more as it occurs to me.
Firstly, could we address the issue of your phoning me every five minutes. I changed phone extensions at least two months ago and for the last sixty days you have called me at the wrong extension at least three times a day. With 40 working days since changing numbers, that's 120 calls to the wrong extension. Most people would make the connection between me never answering that phone and me not using it. That is not my complaint however.
Firstly, you designed the system I am testing, one would assume in that case that you knew more about it than I do but this is not the case and you insist on my wasting my time with the most menial and pointless tasks that could be performed by a monkey simply because you do not want to admit that you haven't a clue.
Secondly, when I ask you a question about the contents of an email you sent me, resending the original email is not an answer, it merely makes me want to murder you in cold blood.
Thirdly, when we decide on a course of action, it is considered bad form for you to wander off and do something completly different, possibly in another country and forget our conversation. Hanging up on me in mid sentence is also a bit of a no no.
Dear Moron, if you wish to the dawn of another week you will pay heed to the fact that I have ALREADY SAID THESE THINGS TO YOU AND YOU FAIL TO TAKE THEM ON BOARD. Do you, Moron, realise how soul destroying it is to watch as your legitimate concerns are completly disregarded by a man who could be adequetly replaced by a hamster in one of those rolly ball things?
Yours in hair loss
You are not kidding anyone, your complete inability to do your job has been noted at all levels of the company by anyone who has to deal with you. Some indicators which you may wish to consider masking in future are as follows:
Removing crucial diagrams from documentation because you thought they didn't look very good there.
Taking two weeks to resize a gif file.
Arguing every single point made to you ONLY makes you look knowledgable if your argument consists of more than "I dunnow, it just seems wrong". Gut instinct has it's place, but that place is in fucking cop movies. If you were given 24 hours to solve the case you'd ask if you could spread those 24 hours over the next three months.
I am not the world's finest timekeeper but I at least attempt to be at my desk by nine AM, ten past is the worst I manage but two years of working hard for the company can earn you some leeway. Two years of fucking things up only means it's noticed all the more then you arrive in at half past, disappear for half an hour, come back wearing different clothes and then sit down to breakfast.
Do not assume some sort of divine sisterhood with senior management simply because they are mainly women, they know everything because your boss knows everything and he tells them. DO not assume he has once taken the fall for anything more than not screaming at you and giving you the bitch slap you so heartily deserve.
No need to reply, your vacant gaze speaks volumes.
Please please please just stop talking for five minutes. When I don't answer that is my way of indicating that I'm not listening.