The Bunny Bacchus (mr_wombat) wrote,
The Bunny Bacchus

That bit of fiction I was on about.

Bear in mind that it has been nearly ten years since I last wrote fiction of any kind more creative than my CV. It needs a paragraph or two at the start to set the scene properly but it is being told from the perspective of one person who begins the story at the point where his team meets to begin the job.

All comments welcome , brutally negative or otherwise. Just bear in mind that I'm feeling slightly delicate since the rabbits creeped the living fuck out of me by making strange noises every time I was out of the room for the last ten minutes.

The first member of our team was Beans, supposedly he was there as surveillance or at least that's what our employer told us. He seemed pleasant enough but he did sort of make me wonder, I mean the guy didn't have a single piece of electronic equipment about him and the backpack he had was empty, there was just foam with a hollowed out rectangle that was supposed to hold the object of our exercise.

Vinnie, he was on loan from the Mafia for a few weeks while some unpleasantness died down in Chicago, I had no idea what had happened but the rumor mill was churning out something about a prom queen and a shark, I didn't want to know more to be honest. He was our cleaner, responsible for making absolutely sure none of us left anything behind that could link us to the rather brutal crime we were tasked with. He was a nasty piece of work and he definitely got a sadistic thrill out of seeing people squirm when he was around. If even half the stories about him were true then in fairness, we all had good reason to squirm. The funny thing was, if, like Beans you didn't know the stories he was a perfectly nice guy, the two of them spent a good twenty minutes chatting before we left the meeting point while the rest of us checked our equipment.

There was Jameson, the Irish guy. I'd met him a few times and I couldn't say I ever enjoyed it. The man had a dangerous disregard for his own safety and to be honest I doubted that he cared overly much for that of the rest of the team. Throw in a stench of booze and cologne that could water your eyes and give away our position to anyone with a sense of smell. Truth be told there was nothing to recommend him except for one detail - he was, as far as we could tell, indestructible. We'd all heard stories about this bloke, how he had been ambushed in bed one night, took a shotgun to the gut before he got up and beat his would be assassin to death with the blunt end. Jameson was there to cover our retreat if things got nasty or loud

Then there was me, Turner, a former officer in queen Lizzie's navy, honorably discharged after I took a wrong turn on the HMS Edward and spotted a certain member of the royal family who shall remain nameless, being spit roast by an admiral and the Spanish ambassador. To tell the truth I'm lucky I wasn't shot or end up involved in a "prank gone wrong" and loaded into a cannon but it doesn't make it any easier to know that your career was ended because a fucking trio of degenerates couldn't keep it in their pants or lock the God damned fucking door. To this day I'm not sure how the whole affair fell under the aegis of the official secrets act but ours is not to reason why. That was in the mid eighties and unless you were a braces wearing, pinstripe clad nancy boy there wasn't a great deal to do so I fell in with what my mum would call a "bad crowd" and ended up in the more lucrative field of armed robbery. I was supposed to be the driver on this little job and that suited me just fine.

It was a right bloody reservoir dogs affair, all of us in a warehouse and most of us knew each other by reputation but none of us had ever worked together before and we were all expected to operate as a team long enough to get the job done. Beans was the exception, none of us knew him. The job, ah yeah.. It seemed we were supposed to trail some accountant home at whatever time decided to leave the office, break into his house, kill everyone within and take his laptop without damaging it. All of this had to be finished between eleven thirty and eleven forty PM. We were told to expect some opposition, not from any security or law enforcement but from another team hired by some opponent of our employer who also wanted whatever was on the computer. Either way it would seem that our unfortunate target was royally fucked. Our employer feared that opposition might make an attempt to grab the case while the target was on his way home and we were to intervene in such a case but otherwise we were to wait until half eleven to make our move.

I won't bore you with the details, suffice it to say that with the exception of Beans we were all pretty well armed. Vinnie and I had a submachine gun and a pistol each and Jameson was carrying an automatic rifle and he had his "contingency plan" in the boot of the car. "Contingency Plan" was the name of his chuffing huge machine gun that I swear to God belonged on the set of some science fiction movie and not in the boot of my car. In fairness, we were probably over dressed for this particular occasion.

Everyone was quiet during the trip to the office building where our target worked. I think we were all a bit wary of pissing Vinnie off to be honest but half way there Jameson decided to cut loose with an ungodly fart which sort of broke the tension a bit and a few words were exchanged. Beans though, he stayed quiet the whole time. We parked the car across the road from the office and settled down for the evening. I remember it was twenty past ten on the dot because I'd just checked my watch, Beans uttered his first sentence since we left the warehouse. He said "here he comes" and it was pretty spooky because the guy didn't emerge from the building for another thirty seconds but then I noticed that the stairwell had big windows the whole way down and figured that Beans spotted him coming down the stairs. It's only just now that I think about it that I wonder why the guy didn't take the lift.

Nothing much happened during the drive home, at one set of traffic lights some bloke came up to the target's car window trying to bum some cash. Vinnie damned near jumped out of our car there and then but Jameson held him back a moment and sure enough it was just someone begging for some change. We arrived back at the apartment complex where the target lived at about ten to eleven and we settled down to wait again.

At twenty past eleven Vinnie decided it was time to make our move. I was to stay in the car and I was supposed to start the engine running at eleven thirty. He, Beans and Jameson were going to quickly case the place for emergency exits before entering the building, kick down the target's door, do the hit and grab the laptop. All told he thought they should take no more than a minute. The three of them got out of the car and made a vain attempt at looking like they were all out for a leisurely stroll around the outside of the complex. At eleven thirty they came back around the front of the building and Beans did something to the lock, I couldn't see exactly what it was but the door swung open anyway. When they closed the door behind them I turned to face forward to start the car there were these three blokes standing in front of it, I saw them as clear as day. I don't mind saying I got a shock, in fact the scared the bejeezus out of me. They were wearing long coats and these wide brimmed hats and I'm guessing they were wearing balaclavas or something because I couldn't see their faces. I turned the key in the ignition and nothing happened, I took my eyes off them for a second - stupid I know, but when I looked back they were gone.

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