Eircom = axis of evil in control of the telecommunications network in ireland.
Esat = slightly less evil phone network that has to lease all equipment from Eircom
The line in the house I'm in now is failing the test for broadband according to Esat's database. There's no good reason for this apart from the line to the house being crappy but they said I should call eircom to find out more.
It was educational - the first time I called I mentioned that Esat had told me to call them and I was almost scolded for calling. Apparantly Eircom can't help, Eircom can't intervene in problems between a customer and their provider, Eircom blah blah blah. The fact that I was calling them to inquire about a possible problem on a line that they own and operate seemed lost on this guy. I ended the call by saying "Right, y'know what I'm going to do? I'm going to call back later and pretend to be a new eircom customer and get the god damned information I want without all this crap".
So I did, and was told the possible reasons for failure, when to check again, I was offered an alternate package (ISDN) and told all about it and the rep (a different one) went to great lengths to try and help out.