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Wed, Feb. 4th, 2004, 10:32 am

So ITV producers get together a bunch of celebrities to do that "I'm a celebrity, get me out of here" jungle survival challenge. They have amongst their number
Jordan - Adult model with the features of a skank and the mind of a moron, mother of a child she blinded thanks to fetal alcohol syndrome.

Kerry McFadden - Planet Earth's most annoying person and wife of westlife singer Brian McFadden. Being his wife is her most consistent reason for being in the spotlight since she was kicked out of the band Atomic Kitten and has done nothing of note until this show where she has at least demonstrated a strong ability to manipulate the public by suggesting she might
a) Take her clothes off
b) Take Jordan's clothes off
c) Shag someone
d) Cry a lot

John Lydon - Otherwise known as Johnny Rotten, lead singer of the Sex Pistols, the man who on British radio in 1976 when prompted to "say something outrageous" by the DJ said "dirty fuckers" and drove the entire country into some puritanical frenzy regarding swearing.

So we're supposed to be somehow surprised when he refered to the voting public as "fucking cunts" when he found out they'd voted to have him stay on in the jungle? I smell a cynical manipulation here.

(Incidentally I don't know or care who the other contestants are, those three are the ones constantly in the news these days thanks to that fucking show)

Anyway, what's the big deal? If I had my way there'd be swearing in every show, I can picture it really spicing up Emmerdale "AH! me fucking foot, that fuckin' cow just stood on me fuckin' foot, get the cunting shotgun 'till I put the fucker down once and for fucking all!" - THAT sounds a lot more like the farm living I remember, hell there was one guy who lived on a hill a couple of miles away from us and we heard lines like that clear as a bell many many times because he had a good pair of lungs in him.

At least HIS kids knew that swearwords were just words, not like those oversensitive ones who used to cry when the air turned blue (and then got beat up for it)